GOING DUTCH

An arresting telegram arrived today, delivered by a fresh-faced young chap sporting a peaked cap and a very unlikely, tight tunic. I didn't think telegrams still existed nevermind Post Office delivery boys...

FOUR DAYS - EIGHT GAMES STOP

THAT WAS THE UNLIKELY SCENARIO FOR MARTIN KELLY,CHESS CAPTAIN OF BELFAST SOUTH STOP

LAST THURSDAY HIS TEAM STORMED TO A 5.5-1.5 VICTORY OVER MULDOONS WITH REV.RAY DEVENNEY "COLLARING" GARETH ANNESLEY AND FLYING DUTCHMAN SIEBREN WESTRA "NICKING" A POINT FROM NICHOLAS PILKIEWICZ STOP

MARTIN LOST IN A FRIENDLY ON BOARD 6 AGAINST RODNEY ORR - "ORR" DID HE? STOP

LAST WEEKEND MARTIN WON THE ULSTER MASTERS JUNIOR TITLE WITH 3.5/6 INCLUDING DRAWS WITH DAMIEN CUNNINGHAM, MARK NEWMAN AND ROBERT LAVERY STOP

HE ALSO BEAT STEPHEN "SCARBOROUGH FAIR" AND SQUARE! STOP

SOME PEOPLE WONDER WHY MARTIN'S RATING IS STILL ONLY 1335 AND THEY ARE QUITE RIGHT TO WONDER! STOP

ON MONDAY,BELFAST SOUTH PLAYED CHAMPIONS FISHERWICK WITH A SECOND DUTCHMAN,MAXIM LE CLERCQ "THROWN INTO THE DEEP END" AGAINST MICHAEL WATERS STOP

WITH THE FISHERWICK BIG TWO TOP BOARDS BOTH WINNING AND THE OTHER BOARDS DRAWING THEY WON 5.5-1.5 STOP

WHERE WAS CAPTAIN MARTIN? STOP

ACROSS THE ROAD IN THE BELFAST SOUTH MONDAY TOURNAMENT DRAWING WITH CHRIS ARMSTRONG STOP

NO REST FOR THE WICKED AS HE HEADS OFF THIS WEEKEND WITH CATHAL MURPHY AND PHILIP MORRISON - THE THREE MUSKETEERS - TO KILKENNY STOP

A REPORT WILL FOLLOW STOP

ROOKIE

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